The Money Machine

This story is pure comedy, as silly (or atrocious) as Galactica 1980 can get. The plot has Troy and Dillon, for whatever reason, hiding out in the attic of an orphanage. They have a matter duplicator which they use to make small amounts of currency so they can get around in our society. Somehow, the matter duplicator gets left behind, and the kids find the machine and start printing money, making everyone in the orphanage happy. Lots of cute, cuddly kid crap. Then some inept crooks get the machine. Our heroes go to stop them, not because counterfeiting is wrong, but because, back to the basic rule, No One Can Know About Galactica. (No one had any idea, including everyone who worked on the show, why Adama couldn't just call the White House and say, "Uh, I think we better have a talk.") The air force guy, Colonel Sydell, may have been in the story, but there were some Really Bad Guys who were also after the matter duplicator. Anyway, the duplicator is recovered, Really Bad Guys get punished, and inept bad guys sneak away swearing they learned their lesson. And yet, as we watch them run off, we notice a little wink in their eyes which tells us they really haven't.

Galactica 1980 story editors Allan Cole and Chris Bunch commented on this one: "We thought the script was a stone scream, but (Frank) Lupo read it and Hated it. Don't think it even got as far as Larson."

• If this script had been produced, it would no doubt have been in the running for the Worst Episode award.